I AM BY NO MEANS PERFECT, BUT

 

I am by no means perfect, but my wife

Has a particularly dirty habit

Which she won’t like me mentioning

As it involves a rampant rabbit

THE ONLY BUSINESS MODEL

 

The only business model

Whose proprietor prefers

Customers with no redeeming

Qualities, are Pawnbrokers

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS BEING EXPLORED

 

Artificial Intelligence is being explored

By science, despite its inadvisability

But then education and inquisitiveness

Are no defence against natural stupidity

EVERYONE NEEDS A HOBBY

 

Everyone needs a hobby

And my dad is no exception

He has built up a rather large

Empty bottle collection

 

There is a name for it

It’ll come to me in a tick

It’s on the tip of my tongue

Oh yes, he’s an alcoholic

I WAS NEARLY KILLED BY A SALT LORRY

 

I was nearly killed by a salt lorry

As I was riding in Surrey Heath

I was so angry I shouted at the driver

Though it was through gritted teeth

IN THE BBC NEWSROOM

 

In the BBC Newsroom

Just ahead of the action

The producer announces

“Lights Camera Fiction”

Uncanny Tales – (52) A Lasciveorous Eye

It was a special occasion at the Runcible Spoon in Purplemere, Celia, the birthday girl was twenty-one, a blushing young beauty beneath soft curls.

It was universally believed that she was a most beautiful creature with such a sweet and delightful nature and a radiant smile that lit up her face.
But during the meal all Daniel could do was to look at her with lascivious eyes, to his complete and utter disgrace and he thought she would not smile at him so sweetly if she knew that he wanted her utterly, this beautiful young woman so demurely dressed, how he yearned to divest her of those very clothes.
If she could read his lustful mind she would find there such filthy thoughts.

As he looked at her with lustful eyes he wondered if her nature was as innocent as it seemed or if she was as dirty as in his sordid dreams, where he left her sullied and disgraced.

But it really was only a dream, the pretty young thing with sumptuous figure, how he would like to consume her in his vigour, but the pretty young girl, half his age will never release his passion from its cage.