THEY MADE A CLEAN GETAWAY

 

They made a clean getaway

To a remote destination

For peace and quiet

And dirty intentions

PROVERBIAL PROVERBS # 5

 

Prevention is better than cure

Well I’m not so sure

Prevention is only helpful until

You are actually ill

Uncanny Tales – (30) Party Favor

 

When I was 16, I went to a house party, at the home of a friend of a friend and that was when I saw her.

She was way out of my league of course I knew that from the outset, she was five years older than me for a start and drop dead gorgeous into the bargain, but I thought there was no harm in looking.

Anyway, after a couple of beers I got brave and started to flirt with her and I was really chuffed that she was a really good sport and flirted back.

Well we kept that up for a while and then she asked for a refill of her glass, so I went off to the kitchen, I thought it was probably just ruse to get rid of me but then it had only been a bit of fun.

However, to my surprise, not only had she not done a runner, but she was waiting for me in the hall and steered me expertly into the utility room and planted a hot wet kiss on my mouth.

Our mouths parted long enough for me to put the drinks down and get a short sentence out. “I thought we were only flirting”

“You have a lot to learn about women” she said closing in on me again.
“Perhaps you could teach me,” I suggested
“Ok” she replied and leant her face towards me and gently touched her lips against mine.

“A little more I think” I said
“You’d like me to teach you some more?” she asked smiling.
“Oh yes” I replied and wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close and then our lips met again and our mouths opened on contact with tongues flicking, I had never had a French kiss before and I hoped she wouldn’t notice, she pulled herself away from my over enthusiastic efforts and looked into my eyes and smiled.
“You're not a bad kisser” she said kindly
“You're a good teacher” I told her

“You haven’t seen anything yet” she said and unzipped my fly.

PROVERBIAL PROVERBS # 4

 

Practice what you preach

Isn’t that what they teach?

But preach what you’ve practiced

Is the advice of a Semanticist

MY BROTHER IS A PESSIMIST # 1

 

My brother is a pessimist

With all his nay-saying,

And a glass half full guy

With his speclionegging

ANNIVERSARY PLAN

“Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”

A husband asked his wife as it was that time again

“Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!” she said.

So with a smile he suggested, “How about the kitchen?”

ARE YOU WEARING A GARTER BELT?

 

Are you wearing a garter belt?

That would make my resistance melt

You’ll be a sight to enhance and bolster

Wearing a dirty gunslingers holster