72 Miles From The Sea

Wednesday, 8 September 2021

I had a very disturbing dream last night

Which I awoke from in some distress

I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper

You might say I had been dicing with death

The Inland Revenue keep writing to me

Demanding that I pay or go to prison

But I don’t owe them a penny because

I now live by the seaside at Weston

I want to die peacefully in my sleep

Like my Great Aunt Jane

And not screaming in terror

Like the passenger on her plane

My wife and I had an active sex life

And we used to like to experiment

But those days are now long gone

As SM now means Senior Moment

Fortunately, you have two hands

And hopefully you’ll discover,

One is for helping yourself,

And one is for helping others

I just had a senior moment

When I mentioned to my friend Betty

That when I got the chance

I needed to phone my friend Betty

Tahoma and Calibri walked into a bar

And were told, “you will have to leave I fear

But please don’t take it personally

It’s just that we don't serve your type in here”