VLADIMIR ILYICH ULYANOV

 

Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov

Was over in London, visiting

When Trotsky knocked the door

And asked “Is Len in?”

DOCTOR’S INTUITION

 

The doctor said he thought

I had curvature of the upper spine

He wasn’t sure though

He said it was just a hunch

BECAUSE OF HER CONFIDENT STRIDE

 

Because of her confident stride

Everyone noticed Anne Boleyn

And the King set his cap at her

As her rivals would only amble in

STAR WARS TODAY

 

If the Star Wars series

Was only just written

Luke would be a vegan

Flying the Millennial Falcon

Uncanny Tales – (017) The Dread Retirement

 

It had been a good day at work, in fact on the whole it had been a productive week and all was well with the world, especially as we were on the cusp of a three day weekend.

As we were driving home from work, on a nice evening in spring, the days were lengthening, and the evening sunshine was warm through the windscreen and I was feeling good and looking forward to the weekend ahead.

My wife Cindy was driving and I was chilling out in the passenger seat and Jake and Ollie, my two teenage sons, were in the back seat.

I came out of my chill zone just as Cindy said to the boys

“You two will be leaving home in the next few years”

Clearly referring to University and not an eviction.
“And when you two leave home for good” she continued “Dad and I will be on our own”

And the moment the words were spoken I was suddenly not so chill.

“Just the two of us” She said “And I’m really looking forward to it, so is Dad, aren’t you darling?”

“Oh yes” I lied as my heart sank into my boots, in truth the thought of spending the rest of my life with Cindy, on her own with her inane cheerfulness filled me with dread.

GETTING ON # 7

 

I’m not interested in retirement,

It’s not what I want to pursue

Listening to my arteries hardening

As I sit and attempt to do Sudoku

THE MEAT MARKETS ARE BUSY # 2

 

The meat markets are busy

I’d say you can’t go wrong

Horse meat prices are down

But they won’t be furlong