72 Miles From The Sea

Wednesday, 1 September 2021

I got a bargain on a load of steak

My competitors pay much higher

They ask where I get my horse steak

But I don’t tell them my mane supplier

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,

How does your garden grow?

With silver bells, and cockle shells

And other tacky blingy show

Breaking news: there’s been an explosion

At a cheese factory in Weston-Super-Mare

There have been no reports of casualties

Though there was De Brie everywhere

I told my girlfriend that she had

Drawn her eyebrows in too high

She didn’t say anything in response

But there was a look of surprise

My wife accused me

Of being the immature sort

I wasn’t very happy

So I said “get out of my fort”

The reason that the old man

Fell in the well?

Was simply because

He couldn't see very well

I ate my mum’s clock yesterday,

When she finds out she'll be fuming,

However, it was a day well spent

Eating clocks is very time consuming