72 Miles From The Sea

Friday, 6 August 2021

Tim Vine starts by shouting

The chimney puns out

He’s got a stack of them

The first one is on the house

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry

But now his foot is in the other shoe

And he has been embroiled in “me too”

Even Netflix has come to the conclusion

I watch too much TV, so there’s no doubt,

It doesn’t suggest more box sets to watch

Instead it’s started suggesting I go out

I am certainly a doubting Thomas

My doubts are quite eclectic

But my disbelieving is such

That I don’t believe in sceptics

My Uncle had his neck brace fitted

Because he has arthritis in his neck

But in the five years has had the brace

My Uncle has never looked back

When you’re feeling on top of the world

Don’t fall into the trap and boast

Because one day you're the best thing

Since sliced bread and the next, you're toast

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

God made your friend pretty,

But what happened to you?