PORNOGRAPHY IS OFTEN FROWNED UPON

 

Pornography is often frowned upon,

And viewed as degenerating

I frown when I’m watching it

But that's because I'm concentrating

I'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 10 YEARS

 

I've been married for 10 years,

And mostly it’s been heaven

It’s not all plain sailing as I

Haven’t made a decision for seven

GOING TO A FANCY DRESS PARTY

 

My friend told me he was going

To a fancy dress party

Dressed as an Italian island

I told him not to be Sicily

WHY DID THE CHEWING GUM CROSS THE HIGHWAY?

 

Why did the chewing gum cross the highway?

Isn’t a question you get asked every day

However, the answer is actually a simple one  

Because it was stuck to a chicken's bum

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – VIVACIOUS LADY (1938)

 

“Vivacious Lady” is a Romantic Comedy, Screenplay by P.J. Wolfson and Ernest Pagano from a Story by I.A.R. Wylie and Directed by George Stevens.

The story begins when young University Professor Peter Morgan (James Stewart) makes a quick trip to the city to escort his cousin Keith Morgan (James Ellison) back to their home town of Old Sharon.

He finds Keith at a nightclub which he regularly frequents as he is besotted with nightclub performer Francey Brent (Ginger Rogers), however when Peter meets Francey he falls head over heels in love with her and they marry after a whirlwind romance.

But when he goes back home, he has to pick his moment to tell his conservative, ultra-respectable parents Peter Morgan, Sr. (Charles Coburn) and Martha Morgan (Beulah Bondi).

It's a very enjoyable movie with a typically engaging performance by Rogers and a typically amiable one by Stewart and Willie Best as the Train Porter is delightful.

WARNING TO DRINKERS # 5

 

New health warnings should be

On bottles and tins for us to see

Warnings clearly on display

That the consumption of alcohol may

Cause the dedicated revellers

To believe that their ex-lovers

Want you to telephone them

Even though its 4 am

ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK CAN STRIKE

 

Anaphylactic shock can strike

Even if you are normally well

And I can give you the cause

Of Anaphylaxis in a nutshell