The man explained why he hadn’t
Got
his wife a gift for her birthday
The
previous year he bought her
The
nice plot in the cemetery
That
she had requested, and she
Hadn’t
used it, and he was unhappy
Saturday, 10 July 2021
THE ABSENT GIFT
AFTER GETTING HOME LATE ONE NIGHT
After getting home late one night, very drunk,
He
sees something that will forever scar his brain
And
the consequence of seeing two of his wife
He
quit drinking so he wouldn’t see that again
SHE PUT THE ASHES IN AN EGG TIMER
She put the ashes in an egg timer
After
her husband’s final breath
So
he would at least be useful
Around
the house after his death
HE WAS RUNNING AN ELECTRIC FIRE ALL DAY
He was running an electric fire all day
And
he’d never been so extravagant before
But
he said he wasn’t worried about the cost
Because
he borrowed it from next door
Friday, 9 July 2021
ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – GROUNDHOG DAY (1993)
“Groundhog
Day” is a comedy, screenplay by Danny Rubin and Harold Ramis, and Directed by
Harold Ramis.
TV
weather man Phil (Bill Murray) reluctantly has to do an outside broadcast in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, on
Groundhog Day, to cover the story about, what he calls, a weather forecasting “rat”,
Punxsutawney Phil, who is in fact a Groundhog.
Furthermore
it’s his fourth year on the story, and he makes no effort to hide his
displeasure.
But
he travels to Pennsylvania anyway with Producer Rita (Andie MacDowell) and
Cameraman Larry (Chris Elliott) and dutifully fulfils his obligation while
barely concealing his contempt for the whole event.
And
that night when he went to bed he consoled himself that it was only one day,
but on awaking the following morning he discovers that it's Groundhog Day
again, and again, and again.
At
first he uses this anomaly to his advantage, to seduce women, be outrageous, be
obnoxious, all without consequence, but eventually he comes to the realisation
that he is doomed to spend the rest of eternity in the same place, seeing the
same people, do the same thing every
day, unless he can change, if not the day then himself.
THE WISDOM OF OLD AGE # 7
You shouldn't go through life
With
a catcher’s mitt on each hand
You
need to be able to throw
Something
back on demand
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