HOGWARTS ISN’T A PERFECT SCHOOL # 2

 

Hogwarts isn’t a perfect school

But there are Heroes by the score

They eagerly arrive aged eleven

And get in through the Gryffindor

THE FORESTRY COMMISSION

 

There is new website

For the Forestry Commission

To out find information

About any tree, just log in

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – THE BISHOP'S WIFE (1947)

 

Directed by Henry Koster, the Christmas classic, The Bishop's Wife, tells the tale of an Episcopal Bishop, Henry Brougham played by David Niven, who has been working for months on the plans for a new cathedral, paid for by a selfish and stubborn widow Mrs. Hamilton, (Gladys Cooper).

As a result he begins to lose sight of his wife, Julia, (Loretta Young) and daughter Debbie (Karolyn Grimes) and of why he joined the church in the first place, so Dudley, an angel in human form, played by Cary Grant, is sent to help him, with the task of building a new cathedral and repairing his fractured marriage.

Dudley help’s everyone he meets, but not always in the way they would have chosen, nonetheless everyone liked Dudley, with the exception of Henry.
As Christmas approaches Henry begins to believe that Dudley is there to replace him, at work, and in his family’s affections.

He even manages to affect his maid Matilda (Elsa Lanchester) and secretary Mildred Cassaway (Sara Haden).

Even the cynical old atheist family friend Professor Wutheridge (Monty Woolley) falls under his spell, eventually, but Dudley must be careful not to become too fond of earthly distractions.

It’s a gem of a movie which can be appreciated any time of year and has many memorable scenes but my favourite is when Sylvester, the taxi driver (James Gleason) befriends Julia and Dudley and they go ice skating in the park, in fact the sequence is one of the best things you’ll see in many a film, enjoy.

THE MIRACLE CURE

 

Do you feel inadequate?

Or suffer from shyness?

Are you unable to be assertive?

Did you answered yes?

Then the solution is simple

Though a little distasteful

Get to a wine bar double fast

And get totally rat assed

Wine is the safest natural way

To bring you out of your shell

You will have new confidence

To tell total strangers to “go to hell”

Inadequacy will be a thing of the past

Shyness will be a forgotten thing

Assertiveness will be the new you

And you will be willing to do anything

This is not a quick fix solution

Regular doses should be taken

Try different drinks, experiment

This is a “for life” regimen

I must give a word of warning

Shyness and awkwardness

Will return to haunt you

So always carry a bottle in readiness

A WORD OF CAUTION

Alcohol isn’t right for everyone

Not even a little bit

Such as Women who are pregnant or breast feeding

They shouldn’t have it

However, women who don’t mind getting pregnant

Should have loads of it

THE PERILS OF ALCOHOL

Excessive alcohol can leave you screwed 

Some of the Side effects may include

Nausea, vomiting or dizziness,

Table dancing or erotic lustfulness,

Loss of motor control, loss of money,

Loss of clothing, loss of virginity,

Delusions of grandeur, dehydration,

Headache, dry mouth and incarceration,

Plus a desire to sing Karaoke

And other jiggery pokery

Such as all-night rounds of Strip Poker,

Truth Or Dare, and or Naked Twister 

THE WISDOM OF MY TEENS # 3

When I was a teenager

I have to say that secretly

I was really rather glad

My parents were strict with me