No matter how many times you've had sex
If
you’re offered it, then take it
Because
it'll never be quite the same again
And
you may never again be offered it
Wednesday, 9 June 2021
SEX EDUCATION
WHAT
What
What
a man
What
a difference a day makes
What
a classic
What
have I done to deserve this?
What
no beer
What
price Hollywood
What
shall it profit?
What
waits below?
What are little boys made of?
What’s good for the goose?
What’s
so bad about feeling good?
What’s
the matter with Helen?
What’s
buzzing cousin?
PEARLS OF WISDOM
Pills to be taken in twos always come out of the bottle in threes.
Even
he who expects nothing is blessed, for he shall not be disappointed
A
drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Remember
the leak in the roof is never in the same location as the drip
Love
comes in spurts
Sex
is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
O
Lord, grant we may always be right, for you know we will never change our minds
Fill
what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches
What
this world needs is a damned good plague
It's
morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money
Smile,
it makes people wonder what you are thinking
Don't
do it if you can't keep it up
O
orders that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood
Money
is like manure spread it about it does good, pile it up in one spot and it
stinks
YOURS SINCERELY
An important lesson in life
When
dealing with a girlfriend
Is
to learn to be sincere
WHEN THE EXCREMENT HITS THE AIR CONDITIONING
When the shit hits the fan
You
will discover finally
Your
worst fears are realized
THE LIFE STORY OF A DRESS
10 years before its time a dress will be considered indecent
1
year before its time it will be considered daring
Precisely
in its time it will be considered chic
3
years after its time it will be considered dowdy
20
years after its time it will be considered hideous
30
years after its time it will be considered amusing
100
years after its time it will be considered romantic
150
years after its time it will be considered beautiful.
SMOKERS RULES
A smoker is always attracted to the non-smoking section
Due
largely to any one of the following eventualities
The
cigarette smoke always drifts toward a non-smoker
Regardless
of the strength of breeze or its directionality
The
amount of pleasure derived from a cigarette
Depends
on the number of non-smokers in the vicinity
The
time it takes to smoke a cigarette depends on a great deal
On
the level of protest from non-smokers in your proximity
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