TRAFFIC COP – I’M SORRY

 

“I’m sorry” the Officer said

“That I have to give you a ticket sir”

“I’m sorry too” I said “That I forgot

To plug in my radar detector”

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 303

 

There was a chandler making candles

For all the convent girls to handle

Where at night the sister would shout

Its bedtime girls so candles out

THE LONG WAIT

 

My Dad had cancer

And from the moment

He had to succumb

It was thirteen years

Before heart failure

Was to take my mum

She was so unhappy,

Partly because

His passing left her numb,

But not only that,

She was angry because

She was the lonely one

He wasn’t supposed

To go first, he was supposed

To mourn mum

So, at her funeral

I smiled to myself

Even though I was glum 

Thinking about them

Reuniting and the bollocking

That was to come

MY CAT IS A FUSSY EATER # 2

My cat is a fussy eater

That’s not uncommon for a Siamese

And some days only RATatouille

On a bed of Mice will please

SIGHTS, SOUNDS, SMELLS, TASTE AND TOUCH # 1

 

Sights, sounds, smells, taste and touch

It’s funny the things that cause the memories to awake

When all of a sudden memories of Mum flood back

It’s Abide with me and Date and Walnut cake

THE DISAPPEARANCE OF A MUMMY

 

The disappearance of a mummy

Was investigated by Inspector Grace

And with his years of experience

He soon wrapped up the case

SAVAGERY LONG SINCE PROCURED

 

Savagery long since procured

Its inhumane and bestial song

And its uncivilised beat

Is known to the barbarous throng

Whose ferocity knows no bounds

As it perpetrates its brutal wrong