BASILDON BLONDER

 

She had piercing’s

In ears nose and lip

And a very ugly Tatt

On one of her hips

A sad old slapper

Looking for sex

A good time girl

No doubt from Essex

TOUGH LOVE

 

If you fall in love

And get your fingers burnt

If you give all of yourself

And end up broken hearted

Don’t withdraw from life

Get back in the saddle

Dip your toe once more into the mire

Don’t deny yourself the chance

To swim again in an ocean of desire

You must be immersed

In an ocean of emotional tempest

To feel alive, to be alive

You must take off your vest

Before May is out

Take a risk, take a gamble

If you don’t buy a ticket

You can never win the jackpot

It’s better to open up to danger

Take the knocks and live

A VOYAGE ROUND MY FATHER (1)

 

My dad told me

“Susan’s going to America

To the largest state in the union”

I replied to him “Alaska?”

He thought for a moment then said

“No its alright I’ll ask her”

BASILDON BLONDE

 

A dizzy blonde

A little bit simple

A fun filled package

All tits and dimples

Smelling of chips,

Booze and fags

A good time girl

Looking for a shag

DRIVERS (1)

 

Drivers

Road fund license

Over payment for cars

Overpay again for the petrol

Drivers

WHO NEEDS THEM

 

Friends may come

And friends may go

But enemies

Just accumulate so

IT’S NOT MY AISLE

 

I went to the DIY Centre the other day

Not as good as the Old hardware shop

I was looking for some super glue

Having searched in vain I decided to stop

I asked a young lad if he could help

But in truth he wasn’t much cop

A callow youth, gormless and spotty

And still waiting for his balls to drop