ON THE TITANIC

 

The most popular drink on the Titanic

Was not served with a lemon slice

Nor with an olive or a soda splash

It was simply served with lots of ice

RMS TITANIC

 

The finest ship of the White Star Line,

Titanic majestically sailed the brine

A floating palace of opulence

A thing of beauty and elegance

 

But beauty is but a fragile veneer

And conceals a truth more austere

Into the depths Europe’s poor, are thrust

Travelling in steerage like human ballast

 

The iceberg cut her stem to stern

But at first no one showed concern

Except the poor below the waterline

Where it quickly filled with Icy brine

 

“Only God himself could sink her”

It was claimed by an unknown author

The Titanic promoted by J. Bruce Ismay

Quickly sank to his utter dismay

CREATURES OF GREEK MYTHOLOGY – LADON

 

There was a dreadful union between the giant immortal Typhon

And the black fearful eyed Echidne, Half serpent, half woman

The terrifying result of this unnatural union was a huge Drakon

A great multi headed creature with hot fiery breath called Ladon

It was appointed to guard the golden apples of the Hesperides

But with just a single flaming arrow it was slain by Heracles

RHETORICAL WASTE

 

There is a rhetorical question

That gives me indigestion

Is a factory efficient for its sins?

If it only produces waste bins?

CERTIFICATION

 

Not a marriage certificate

But an alternate

The name for it

Should be work permit

WHAT DO YOU GET

 

What do you get?

Answer me please

What do you get?

With Surprise peas

What do you get?

The question begs

Well, the answer is

You get chapped legs

I SPILL MOST OF IT

 

Father became a drinker when an early teen

And he’s a drunk now and the years in between

In his time, he has consumed every type of beverage

From meths to home brew resembling raw sewerage

He has helped many a publicans’ child through public school

He has also funded publican’s holidays like a fool

If he’d studied boozing at uni he’d have got his blue

But they didn’t do a degree course in drinking special brew

Except for the DT’s and the raging hangovers

Heart disease, cirrhosis, kidney failure and ulcers

He seems not to have been affected too seriously

Though he never buys drinks for friends when in company