ALAS MEL SMITH

 

Melvin Kenneth "Mel" Smith (3 December 1952 – 19 July 2013)

 

Mel Smith

Comedian and writer,

Film director,

Producer and actor

Jack of all trades

Master of all

MY UNCLE GROWS VEG

 

My uncle grows veg

Not for eating though

He is after prizes

At the garden show

 

Every waking hour

He nurtures and nurses

Mixing up solutions

As he coaxes and coerces

 

Enormous Marrows

Giant Asparagus

Towering Celery

And humungous fungus

JULIUS CAESAR’S APPROACH

 

Julius Caesar’s approach

May have been absurd

But a different approach

Was what he preferred

Which is why he came,

He saw, he concurred

I WAS AT A FANCY DRESS PARTY

 

I was at a fancy-dress party

And looking for something tarty

I was beginning to lose hope

When I got an unexpected grope

And I was forced to conclude

When things got decidedly rude

That for the very best nooky

You should do it with a Wookey

I HAVE MANY QUESTIONS # 1

 

I have many questions

And here’s one to begin

Who put the Alphabet

In the order that it’s in?

A THIN DIME

Well, the difference between

         A skinny blonde schmuck

And a counterfeit dollar

         Is that one's a phony buck

WRITERS ANGST # 1

The thing that gives me anxiety

For the most part is not writing

But the thing that gives me

The most anxiety of all is writing