UP UP AND AWAY

 

A man is travelling high in a hot air balloon

He knows he needs to find his bearings soon

He has no idea at all of longitude or latitude

Realizing he is lost he decides to reduce altitude

While drifting low in the sky he looks below

He searches the landscape both high and low

For a kind stranger with a helpful attitude

Surely any assistance would earn his gratitude

He spots a woman below and calls down to her

“Hello there, I appear to be lost as it were”

“Can you help me? I promised to meet a friend

An hour ago but I don’t know where to wend”

The woman from below replied pedantically,

“You’re in a balloon hovering approximately

Between 39 and 40 degrees north latitude

And roughly sixty degrees west longitude”

“You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist

“I am” she replied, “what is your hypothesis?”

“Well everything you said is technically exact

But I have no idea in what way I should act

The fact is I am still lost despite your tip

You’ve been no help at all and delayed my trip

The woman responded “You must be a manager”

“I am” replied the man “How did you conjecture?”

“Well” she said, “You don’t know where you are

Or where you are going whether near of far

You have risen due to a large amount of hot air

You made a promise and now you are unaware

How to keep it and you expect people beneath you

To help you solve all of your problems for you

The fact is you are in exactly the same position

As before but now I’m to blame for your situation

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – HARVEY (1950)

 

Harvey is a Classic comedy-drama film based on Mary Chase's play of the same name and, directed by Henry Koster.

It’s the story of Elwood P. Dowd (James Stewart) a whimsical middle-aged man who makes friends with a Pooka, a spirit taking the form of a human-sized rabbit that only Elwood can see.

In his innocence he makes no secret of his friendship with Harvey and proudly introduces him to everyone he meets as his best friend which is why his sister Veta Louise (Josephine Hull), Due to his insistence that he has an invisible six-foot-tall rabbit as a friend, tries to commit him to a mental institution.

However, although he is thought by his family to be insane, in reality he may be wiser than any of them knows, and Elwood and Harvey become the catalysts for a family to mend its wounds and for romance blossoming in unexpected places.

Charles Drake, Peggy Dow, Cecil Kellaway, Victoria Horne and William H. Lynn also star in this wonderful Classic favourite.

FOOLS

 

Any fool can paint a picture

Or even to write a po-em

But it really takes a genius

To find a fool to buy them

DOES NOT COMPUTE

 

To teach the computer illiterate really is a thankless task

It’s something I will never try again so please don’t ask

If you think you might, I’ll warn you before you embark

They say “I understand” but you know it missed the mark

Even the simplest of concepts passes them by completely

And you have to repeat yourself and smile at them sweetly

The Incompatibility exists between a computer and a dunce

And you only have to punch things into a computer once

OOOOH

 

There is a difference between

Satisfaction and despair unseen

The difference isn’t really so far

Between "ooooh" and "aaaaah"

There is a difference it’s a synch

The difference is about an inch

D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

 

To divorce is so expensive

With the legal costs to count

And with division of property

The costs begin to mount

So, with the cost so high

Why is it desired by so many?

Is it that they are all sadistic

Or is it worth every penny?

EYE MODE

 

I think that this is worth a try

To put a sparkle in a Models eye

The only way it will work I fear

Is to shine a torch into her ear