TIGER, TIGER – STROKE PLAY

Elin Woods admitted
Assaulting Tiger
“How many times”?
The police asked her
She thought for a moment
"I’m not sure exactly”
Then with a nod she said
“Mark me down for a three”

ORIGAMI CLUB

When I was at Uni
I joined an origami club
It was only small
And we met at the local pub
But it didn’t last long
If truth be told
The membership dwindled
And it had to fold

TIGER, TIGER – TIPS AND POINTERS

Elin’s phone hasn’t stopped
Since the tale hit the papers
Every golfer in the world
Wants to speak to her
To get some pointersOn how to beat Tiger

FEVERISH AGAIN AND AGAIN

That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as expected
It’s not even an epidemic
A large number of reported cases
On closer examination
Were found to have been
Preceded by intoxication
This is a totally different strain
Of contagious flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed wine flu

TIGER, TIGER – MUTUAL APPRECIATION CLUB

Tiger should now have
Sympathy for baby seals
With first hand knowledge
Of how they feel
As Tiger and the baby seal
Have in common
That they’ve both been clubbed
By a Scandinavian

FEVERISH YET AGAIN

That medical catastrophe
The flu pandemic
Is not as bad as expected
It’s not even an epidemic
A large number of reported cases
Turned out to be MAN flu
Which the W.H.O.
Has been renamed whine flu

TIGER, TIGER – THE TIGER

Tiger, Tiger, what a plight
Laying prone out like a light
What mortal hand blacked your eye?
And left you staring at the sky

What greater wounds would be
On your bruised and battered body
If your wife had on reflection
Thought carefully about her club selection