I stepped out of the car
And was verbally assailed
As I stood upon my drive
“Trick or treat”
Came the banshee chorus
From creatures barely alive
I was taken aback
By this unprecedented event
This new tactic they’d contrived
In the past I had been safe
Behind locked doors
When the leaches arrive
But pretending not to be in
Would not cut it any more
If I was to survive
I must be as clever
As the candy seeking predators
And learn to duck and dive
So when a firework went off
And their attention was distracted
I ran away to hide
Thursday, 26 November 2009
TAKING ISSUE
I am a very lucky man
To have her as my wife
And I think she thinks the same
About having me in her life
There are only two things
With which she takes issue
That’s everything I say
And everything that I do
To have her as my wife
And I think she thinks the same
About having me in her life
There are only two things
With which she takes issue
That’s everything I say
And everything that I do
STRESSED OUT
Is your life hard?
Do you feel stressed out?
Do, the do’s and don’ts
Make you scream and shout
To change things around
There is no doubt
That ice-cream and cake
Will turn your stress about
For if you turn Stressed around
Then Desserts is spelled out
Do you feel stressed out?
Do, the do’s and don’ts
Make you scream and shout
To change things around
There is no doubt
That ice-cream and cake
Will turn your stress about
For if you turn Stressed around
Then Desserts is spelled out
I REALLY WANT TO SAY
I really want to say to you
Just how precious you are to me
I really want to say to you
That I know you are the one for me
I really want to speak to you of love
But here is the twister
I really can’t talk to you of love
Because I’m in love with your sister
Just how precious you are to me
I really want to say to you
That I know you are the one for me
I really want to speak to you of love
But here is the twister
I really can’t talk to you of love
Because I’m in love with your sister
BALDY LOCKS AND THE THREE HAIRS
BALDY LOCKS AND THE THREE HAIRS
Baldy locks may be very rich
He may even be a millionaire
But Baldy locks is unpleasant
And he will never share
Don’t ever approach him
If you don’t want to hear him swear
If you fall beneath his gaze
You must say a little prayer
Don’t venture to close
Never stray into his lair
Don’t try to converse with him
You won’t elicit any cares
The only things he cares about
Are his three remaining hairs
Baldy locks may be very rich
He may even be a millionaire
But Baldy locks is unpleasant
And he will never share
Don’t ever approach him
If you don’t want to hear him swear
If you fall beneath his gaze
You must say a little prayer
Don’t venture to close
Never stray into his lair
Don’t try to converse with him
You won’t elicit any cares
The only things he cares about
Are his three remaining hairs
HEALTH WARNING
How can they say smoking is bad for you?
It’s a lot of old tosh in my personal view
All my family smoked since they were nippers
And after all smoking has cured my kippers
It’s a lot of old tosh in my personal view
All my family smoked since they were nippers
And after all smoking has cured my kippers
NEWSY, NEWSY
Newsy, newsy
Suzy the Floozy
(Not very choosy)
Met Boozy Susie
(Always woozy)
Then had a twosie
In the Jacuzzi
Floozy and Woozy
Then got all Oozy
And decidedly bluesy
Before Suzy the Floozy
(Not very choosy)
And Boozy Susie
(Always woozy)
Got a bit snoozy
Twosie Suzie’s
Newsy, newsy
Suzy the Floozy
(Not very choosy)
Met Boozy Susie
(Always woozy)
Then had a twosie
In the Jacuzzi
Floozy and Woozy
Then got all Oozy
And decidedly bluesy
Before Suzy the Floozy
(Not very choosy)
And Boozy Susie
(Always woozy)
Got a bit snoozy
Twosie Suzie’s
Newsy, newsy
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