SENIOR HAIKU

 

You eat wisely

And you exercise daily

Then die anyway

I REMEMBER MY WISH WAS TO CHANGE

 

I remember my wish was to change

The World when I was a young man

Now that I’m old my wish has changed

And I want to change the young if I can

YOU MUSTN’T LET AGEING GET YOU DOWN

 

You mustn’t let ageing get you down

Its something you just have to face

And let’s not forget how hard it was

Getting yourself up in the first place

OLD AGE SUCKS # 1

 

I sat down on a park bench

So, I could pull up my socks

Sadly, I wasn’t wearing any

God getting old really sucks

LONG AFTER NEEDING BIFOCALS AND HEARING AIDS

 

Long after needing bifocals and hearing aids

We still make love in the silent gloom

The only difference being that during the act

It would be difficult to tell with whom

ARE YOU WEARING OLD MAN CLOTHES?

 

Are you wearing old man clothes?

Why for pity sake old pal

Growing old is mandatory.

But growing up is optional

GETTING ON # 13

 

You know that you have

Become an older chap

When your “happy hour”

Is spent taking a nap

OLD AGE IS LIKE BEING IN A PLANE

 

Old age is like being in a plane

Flying through a typhoon

Because once you’re on board

There is nothing you can do

BEST BEFORE 1980 # 1

 

I have a Universal Remote control

Which I have had for quite a while

But I tried for ages to turn on the Radio

It turned out I was using my mobile

GETTING ON # 12

 

I’m officially old, as I don’t need

To become a narcotics enthusiast

Because I can get the same effect

Simply by standing up too fast

ARE YOU WEARING GROWNUP CLOTHES?

Are you wearing grownup clothes?

No! My youth is not done

Growing up is for trees

I’ll stay young and have fun

GETTING ON # 11

 

You know you’re getting old

When you’ve been on hold

For so long to a utility supplier

That you forgot what you called for

ARE YOU WEARING YOUR BEST SUIT?

Are you wearing your best suit?

Well I am surprised at it to be true

Because you’re now at an age when

Your back goes out more than you do.

GETTING ON # 10

 

I think I must really be getting old

And I don’t mean just a little bit

Because my car has the ability

To move itself from where I parked it

GETTING ON # 9

 

I am defiantly getting old

And I am not alright with that

So, when I’m asked my age

I say I’m forty nine plus vat

GETTING ON # 8

 

When they finally reach old age

Men chase golf balls

Because they’re too old to chase

Anything else at all

GETTING ON # 7

 

I’m not interested in retirement,

It’s not what I want to pursue

Listening to my arteries hardening

As I sit and attempt to do Sudoku

GETTING ON # 6

 

Now I have reached old age

And in the Autumn of my days

Except for the odd heart attack

I feel as young as I always

GETTING ON # 5

 

You know you have reached old age

When name badges are obligatory

At any and all family gatherings,

Sunday Lunch and holidays especially

GETTING ON # 2

 

You are getting old when

Financial crises don’t drive you to tears

For the simple reason your hairline

Has been in recession for years