ARE YOU WEARING A PITH HELMET

 

Are you wearing a pith helmet?

Oh, the great white hunter yet

But that’s just a pose you strike

Great white tin opener more like

MY GRANDFATHER WAS FROM LAPLAND

My Grandfather was from Lapland

And he was the greatest hunter I bet

And when he went to the bleak tundra

To catch Arctic Hare, he used a hare net

TIGER, TIGER, BURNING BRIGHT

 

Tiger, Tiger, burning bright

In the forests of the night

Poachers perform their rite

And leave a bloody sight

MUSIC TO SOOTHE THE SAVAGE BEAST

 

The shepherd lad called shep,

Though that was a Sobriquet,

Watched over his ragged flock

As he sat playing his flageolet

 

So enchanting was the melody

Played on his small fipple flute

It mesmerised the watching wolf

Making him easier to shoot

HUNTIN’ SHOOTIN’ AND TIPPIN’

 

There was a craze not long ago

A kind of country pursuit

A sport known as cow tipping

Perpetrated by callow youth

 

Now due to the recession

There is a new craze to report

A rural epidemic, fly tipping

It’s popular but not much of a sport