Are you wearing tinsel in your hair?
Sitting atop your
golden curls
You look so very
angelic to me
A jewel more precious
than pearls
But looks can be
deceiving
Angel with the golden
curls
And later on, I might
well discover
You’re one of the
naughty girls
There was something remarkable
A special quality
beyond belief
Something dangerous
and daring
With the dark-haired
slip of mischief
Are you wearing it the right way?
I heard the pretty girl say
Should it be tied like so?
For kissing under the mistletoe
Am I showing my naïveté?
In the most embarrassing way
It’s just that I kind of felt
It shouldn’t be tied on your belt
Are you wearing it for a reason?
Is it because of the
festive season?
You won’t be kissed
under the mistletoe
Because you’re wearing
it too low
Being from an army family I dreaded
Being invited to the
officer’s mess
Because I’d have one
too many margarita’s
And it always ends in
distress
When I suggested you needed protection
I wasn’t meaning you
needed a condom
I was merely wondering
if you happened
To have a suitable
raincoat to put on
Are you wearing a puzzled expression?
You must really think
I have some gall
But if it wasn’t for
pickpockets like me
Are you wearing scrubs?
It’s not a sexy look
It’s something and
nothing
In my book
Even though you’re
fit.
I don’t care if you’re
Naked underneath
I don’t care if you’re
Extremely slutty
You have scrubs on.
I like the nurse’s
uniform
Of Pristine cotton
And starched white
apron
A silly hat
And Black stockings
Scrubs leave me flat
But the uniform
Is a different issue
That gets me going…
oops
Have you got a tissue?
Are you wearing leg warmers?
Not the most cutting
edge look of yours
But what goes around
comes around
Or has the elastic gone in you drawers
Are you wearing whiskers?
Well, it’s not really
workin’
And to tell you the
truth
It’s really rather
irkin’
It would be better all
round
If you just wore a
merkin
Are you wearing a trench coat?
It’s certainly got my
vote
It’s got you wrapped
up well
And not a soul could
tell
That beneath its
military style
You’re quite naked all
the while
Are you wearing a merkin?
I’m sorry about the
smirkin’
But to be quite honest
Betty
It looked better on
the yeti
Are you wearing glitter?
On your down below
You’re all blinged up
Where only I should go
Your vajayjay been vajazzled
You’ve decked your
minge
It looks like a disco
ball
You might as well say
blinge
Are you wearing a hairnet?
You work at a baker’s
shop I bet
I have a favourite
Bakery
Where I find my
favourite pastry
I particularly love
baps and buns
The baker’s daughter
has nice ones
If your blind date is described to you
As “Well Educated” the
choice is yours
It will probably be
worse than it sounds
And means they had sex with all their tutors
Are you wearing that?
That’s what you’re
wearing?
Seriously? It’s a
little brief
Oh, it’s certainly
daring
Will it turn any
heads?
Oh yes, you’ll have
them staring
And if that’s all you
wear
Everything will get an
airing
If your blind date is described to you
As an “Adventurer”
then it depends
But it’s probably
worse than it sounds
And they’ll have sex
with all your friends
If your blind date is described to you
As “Thoughtful” it’s
not the best start
As their
thoughtfulness will only extend
To saying "Excuse
me" when they fart
Are you wearing this?
What could be wrong?
Absolutely nothing
In fact nothing sums
it up
There’s nothing to it
It covers nothing
And it leaves nothing
To the imagination
I don’t like strippers
Pouting erotically
Bumping and grinding
Doesn’t do it for me
Nor Pole dancers
Going at it
athletically
Lap dancing likewise
Doesn’t do it for me
Watching women undress
That does do it for me
Providing of course
I can find a suitable
tree
