FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 13
It wasn’t a pea in her bed that kept her awake
It was something of a very different genus
The reason for her exhaustion each morning
Was as a result of the Princess and a penis
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 8
I went into hospital for minor surgery
And the anaesthetist was a bit of a bore
He said “Oops! Does anyone know if a patient
Has ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?”
WHEN WE WERE KIDS IN THE AUTUMN
When we were kids in the autumn
My brother would hide from view
Beneath a pile of fresh fallen leaves
But hey that was Russell for you
MY GIRLFRIEND WORKS IN A CHINESE KITCHEN
My girlfriend works in a Chinese kitchen
And the sauces she must skilfully render
Which is quite ironic really when you hear
The way the chef pronounces Brenda
WE COULD SEE A GROUP OF HIPPIES
We could see a group of hippies drowning
I said “we should try to save them if we can”
My wife was thoughtful for a moment before
She replied “No I think they’re too far out man”
AN ELDERLY FEMALE DRIVER WAS SEEN BY POLICE
An elderly female driver was seen by police
Driving on the motorway very dangerously
She was knitting a jumper while at the wheel
The police told her to Pullover immediately
APPARENTLY ONE IN THREE KIDS # 2
Apparently one in three kids
Are conceived in an IKEA bed
But thankfully two out of three
Wait until they get home instead
TEENAGERS ARE LIKE CAVEMEN
Teenagers are like Cavemen
With their inappropriate rubbing
Personal hygiene, table manners
And their penchant for clubbing
A WORLD RENOWNED SCIENTIST
A world renowned scientist
Decided that he would utilize
A beautiful knocker on his door
And he won the No Bell prize
WHEN THEY ARE STEPPED ON
When they are stepped on
Their behaviour is quite benign
The Grapes never say a word
But they do give a little whine
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