FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 11
Hansel and Gretel’s little trips
Were always exceedingly fruitful
Because once deep in the woods
They became Handsy and Grateful
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 6
I went into hospital for minor surgery
And the anaesthetist thought he was funny
When the nurse dropped a scalpel he said
“Sterile, shcmerile. the floor's clean, really”
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CAMERA
The difference between a camera
And a bad case of influenza
Is that one makes facsimiles
And the other makes sick families
I WILL DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN
I will differentiate between, if I can,
A tube and a foolish Dutchman
Ah yes, one is a hollow cylinder
And the other is a silly Hollander
THE GREATEST SHAKESPEARIAN VILLAIN
The greatest Shakespearian villain,
Who would make a demon scowl,
Was Macbeth the chicken-killer,
Because he did murder most foul
MY SISTER ELLEN
My sister Ellen
Married beneath her
But then she is
Six feet tall to be fare
JOHN IS A VERY UNLUCKY LOVER
John is a very unlucky lover
Unlike James, his twin brother
As John always misses the kisses
While James kisses the misses
AVOID DATING PRETTY MEN, NO MATTER
Avoid dating pretty men, no matter
How much they illuminate the gloom
Because the pretty men are all like
Cheap fireworks, they go off too soon
A YOUNG MAN STOLE A KISS FROM HER LIPS
A young man stole a kiss from her lips
And to his surprise she didn’t have a fit
Instead she smiled and said to him
“Just put that back from where you took it”
POULTRY FARMERS WHO KEEP
Poultry farmers who keep
Battery chickens are fiends
Because they earn their
Immoral living by fowl means
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