A Little Bit Of Humour # 36

I’VE ENROLLED MY WIFE # 1

I’ve enrolled my wife
On an evening class, so that
She can learn how
To adjust the thermostat

ARE YOU WEARING EAR MUFFS?

Are you wearing ear muffs?
Sorry but that’s how it appears
After all how was I to know?
That you have cauliflower ears

DO I HAVE A PET NAME FOR MY WIFE?

Do I have a pet name for my wife?
Yes, I like to call her Bambi, chum
Because she’s cute and clumsy
And I’d like to shoot her mum

I’VE ENROLLED MY WIFE # 2

I’ve enrolled my wife
On an evening class
So she will learn how to

Start a conversation
During the commercials
In the same way I do

CHURCH CONTROVERSY

At our church there is
Something of a controversy
In regards to when a foetus
Can be considered a baby
A few of us believe that
An unborn foetus in Surrey
Only becomes viable when
It has graduated university

I DON’T MEAN TO GO INTO A PANIC

I don’t mean to go into a panic
Or cause a massive fuss
But there are now only twelve
Shoplifting days until Christmas

I’VE ENROLLED MY HUSBAND # 1

I’ve enrolled my Husband,
To make his skills complete
On an evening class
About how to work the toilet seat

ARE YOU WEARING A MUFF?

Are you wearing a muff?
It’s like a big ball of fluff
Is it to keep your hands warm?
That you wear that muff?
Or is it a hiding place, for
When you’ve knicked stuff

MY WIFE LOVES EXCHANGING PRESENTS

My wife loves exchanging presents
Happily amidst the Christmas cheer
In fact she enjoys it so very much
She exchanges my gift every year

I’VE ENROLLED MY DAUGHTER # 1

I’ve enrolled my daughter in a class
Which caused her to exclaim
It was on Paralleled Parking
Which is quite a simple aim
Preferably in less than an hour
And without an Insurance Claim