RED SILK
Red silk clinging,
Accentuating
Each contour
Each curve
And when she moved
It moved with her
Like a soft caress
RED SATIN
Sexy red satin
Soft as the skin
Contained within
Smooth red satin
RED FACED
You never look as lovely, you know?
As you lay beside me in the afterglow
And the reason for that I must confess
Is that I love you red faced and breathless
I WAS AT THE END OF MY WITS
I couldn’t understand
I was at the end of my wits
I couldn’t undo her bra
I couldn’t get to her tits
The device was preventing
My reaching her bits
Then I thought that I should
Remove my woolen mits
I PULLED A CRACKER
I pulled a cracker
At the Christmas Party
And by way of a novelty
She wasn’t even tarty
Not at all my type
But I began to weaken
And thought to myself
Well tis the season
When the pagan symbol
We were stood below
Took effect, we kissed
Beneath the Mistletoe
Though not my usual morsel
I’m not one who dawdles
And I soon had my hands
On her Christmas baubles
ON THE VINE
My husband and I were
Visiting a vineyard
We were on holiday
To rekindle our passion
Which due to the side effects
Of his obesity
Sex was restricted
To only a special occasion
I’d lost sight of him briefly
Amidst the vines
When I found him
With an erection and at play
I looked at the vines
As he said Sémillon, Sémillon
I replied “I think you’ll find
They’re Chardonnay”
I SAW HER ACROSS THE OFFICE
I saw her across the office
She had tinsel in her locks
And a gleam in her eyes
She wore red striped socks
Way up to her thighs
My thoughts were not of her locks
As I devoured her with my eyes
I thought she was quite a fox
But then to my surprise
She offered me her Christmas box
As she undid my flies
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