PUNNING

FRANKLY MY DEAR

What would a fish say?
If it swam into a concrete wall?
Well it would probably say “dam”
If it said anything at all

BAGGAGE REGULATIONS

A vulture boarded
A jumbo jet
Carrying two dead
Marmoset

The stewardess said
"I'm sorry sir,
Only one carrion Per passenger"

DAVY JONES DISCO

If you go to a seafood disco
For a tango and a tussle
Don’t complain about bad luck
If you only pull a muscle

RAMBLING

I met a guy from the ramblers today
I think his name was John
He was a harmless bloke I suppose
But he just went on and on
TODAY I SAW TWO BANKERS

Today I saw two bankers
Two pin stripe suited wankers
I watched from where I was sitting
As they walked into a building
However what’s puzzling me a bit
Is why didn’t one of the see it

DOPEY BROTHER

My brother has a really bad habit
He smokes pot to excess you see
When he needs more from his dealer
He picks up the phone and hits the hash key

LUVVAGE

My pencil case is in love
But not with a pencil
But with two schoolbags
It must be bi-satchel.