MILITARY MIX

THE TREATY

The eleventh hour
The T’s were crossed
And the I’s were dotted
The eleventh day
Books were balanced
Of the butchers tally
The eleventh month
Seeds were sown
For the Second World War
By the French at Versailles

SAVIORS

When soldiers stand neath flags unfurled
Before going to war to do the biz
Be sure before they’re sent to save the world
They re happy with the world the way it is

SHIP RAGE

The silence of a foggy night in the fall
Was shattered suddenly by a radio call
“Unknown vessel divert your course please
And steer to the north by fifteen degrees
Recommend you make this correction
That we might avoid a head on collision”
The reply came “Divert YOUR course please
And steer to the south by fifteen degrees
Recommend you make this correction
That we might avoid a head on collision”
“This is the Captain of the USS Codfish
I say again, divert YOUR course forthwith”
The Reply came back “No, I say again
You must divert you course you cant remain”
This is the USS Codfish not a garbage scow
We’re a large warship divert your course now!“
I don’t care whether you are large or small”
“This is a lighthouse” Said the reply “your call”

BANG YOUR DEAD

A nuclear war, can they say
Ruin your whole bloody day
For in any atomic hostility
All men are cremated equally

HERE ENDETH THE FIRST LESSON

I think war is probably God's way
Of teaching us all a lesson I’d say
But it won’t be a lesson in theology
Its more likely a to be in geography

THE MILITARY WAY

The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it
Having someone take a shot at you, and miss is the most satisfying feeling
Every retreat is a tactical withdrawal
Make sure you are not conspicuous in the combat zone it draws fire
Incoming fire has the right of way
Learn never to volunteer for anything
If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush
The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions
Accurate incoming enemy fire is only surpassed by incoming friendly fire
Remember friendly fire ain't
You know the quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small
When you can be seen by your sergeant you, can be seen by the enemy
Any time you are in advance of your own positions, the artillery will fall short
You know that no battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy