JAMBOREE BAG

EUTOPIA (HAIKU)

Darling buds of May,
appearing in endless dreams
of bountiful days

POETS OF YORE

Great poets, wordsmiths of yore
Prose and rhyme did write
Of matters that went before
Viewing them in poetic light

ALL ENCOMPASSING

A compass point
Will show due north
And knowing where north resides
Lets you find your way
To all points due
This differs greatly
From a moral compass point
Which only has one position
And always points you to
“Do the right thing”

THE SAINTS AND THE ANGELS

The Saints and the Angels
Watch over us all the year round
You never know they are there
For they never make a sound

But they are there nonetheless
Watching over us everyday
And they are there to listen
When you have a need to pray

And should some weary soul
Let slip their earthly bonds
They have angelic company
On their way to the great beyond

AM I BOVVERED

She drove in the exit as I drove out
And I hit her car with a mighty clout
With a chorus of colourful language
She got out to inspect the damage
Her hair was pulled back from her face
Eyes bulging as if sprayed with mace
Skin tighter than the string of a bow
As if she’d had her head out the window
I wasn’t sure if she was injured or ok
Or if her face always looked that way
I inquired if she was injured or hurt
Her response was certainly quite curt
Then I pointed out she was at fault
And she reared up like an angry colt
We exchange details insurance and such
And got in my car and wished her luck
I pointed out her horse like behaviour
And the extent of her driving failure
She was a very long way past miffed
The angry girl with the Croydon facelift

THE YOUTH OF TODAY

Whether Right or wrong
Or for good or badThey all do it, Girl and boy
Or laddette and lad
Lads swear like troupers
Loud and loutish
Girls swear like fishwives
Drinking to excess
So lacking in respect
For themselves and for others
Morals like alley cats
That would shame their mothers

WHEN I WAS A KID

When I was a kid
Life was simpler than it is today
We chose our friends
Based on the things we liked to play
When I was a kid
And we Choose teams in the school yard
If you didn’t get picked
No one thought to play the race card
When I was a kid
Race creed and colour were meaningless
The only “Race issue"
Was arguing about who ran the fastest

POSITIVE DISCRIMINATION

It’s about time we realised
Discrimination is futile
Between black and white
Muslim, Jew and gentile
The old and the young
The homeless and the cherished
The left and the right
The perfect and the blemished
Atheists and believers
The contented and the whinger
Able bodied and disabled
Brunette blonde and ginger
The east and the west
From Asian Orientals
Continent against continent
To European Occidentals
The happy and the sad
The skinny and the stout
The stable and the mad
The in and the out
The north and the south
The Oxbridge and the common
The straight and the gay
Man versus woman
At the end of the day
Nature will discriminate
And will eliminate
Those perpetrators of hate
The senseless bigots
And the world will be rid
As nature will choose
Between the smart and the stupid

LIBERALS

Don’t you just love the liberal crew
So called because of their liberal views
But when you examine their reasoning
Their liberality is merely posturing
Charles Kennedy was deposed of course
Because he was too fond of the sauce
Jeremy Thorpe had to go way back when
Because of his fondness for young men
While Menzies Campbell was told
He had to go because he was just too old
The party so proud of their liberal principals
Are in reality not that liberal at all