OVER CHRISTMAS THE AMBULANCE SERVICE

 

Over Christmas the ambulance service

Were “super busy”, meaning it was hectic

I’ve never heard that unit of measurement

So I’m not sure if it’s imperial or metric

WHEN MY LITTLE DOG’S SETTLE DOWN

 

When my little dog’s settle down

On Christmas Eve amidst the snores

The little doggies dream like a child

And they dream about Santa Paws

RUDOLPH WAS SO OBNOXIOUS

 

Rudolph was so obnoxious that the

Other reindeer threatened to strike

He was really very unpopular and they

Thought he was RUDE-olph more like

RUDOLF WAS SUCH AN OBNOXIOUS REINDEER

 

Rudolf was such an obnoxious reindeer

The song about him was just a farse

The other reindeer all hated him and said

He could stick his red nose up his arse

I FOUND HER SITTING IN MY STUDY

 

I found her sitting in my study

And she was completely in the nuddy

So given the delicate situation

I exploited her infatuation

And as the church bells rang

We started Christmas with a bang

WE LOST THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS

 

We lost the true meaning of Christmas

Almost from the start

It’s become about what’s in your pocket

And not what's in your heart

LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU # 2

 

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,

But I’m sorry to say,

You really

Needed a kidney