If you are struggling to buy toilet roll
Find a suitable alternative if you can
And one appropriate solution would be
To wipe your arse with the Guardian
Wednesday, 21 June 2023
IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING TO BUY TOILET ROLL
OLD AGE HAS DEFINITELY ARRIVED WITH A RUSH
Old age has definitely arrived with a rush
When you think you’re having a hot flush
But sadly, not for the first time, you forget
That you switched on the electric blanket
BEING IN ISOLATION WITH MY WIFE
Sadly, being in isolation with my wife
Has been to our relationships detriment
And I fear that it will either end
In divorce or more likely life imprisonment
ARE YOU WEARING A CROWN?
Are you wearing a crown?
Oh Charles please put
it down
Wearing it doesn’t mean
a thing
You know you will
never be King
BEST BEFORE 1980 # 8
It’s true to say as you get older
Your youth you
possible may regain
For someday you will be
old enough
To start reading fairy
tales again
IT WAS PITIFUL TO SEE # 1
It was pitiful to see, He was totally inept
Basic problems he was
struggling to deal
He’d struggle to pour
water from a boot
With the instructions
printed on the heel
BAD DRINKING HABIT
I went out for a walk,
Just round and about
When I saw in a doorway
An old down and out
Drinking brake fluid
From an old tin cup
I stood for a moment
And watched him sup
“That stuff will kill
you,
Which would be a
crime”
“Don’t worry” he said
“I can stop anytime”
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