DON'T LOOK FOR A PARTNER WHO IS EYE CANDY

 

Don't look for a partner who is eye candy

It’s not about the way someone is viewed

The thing to do for a happy life together

Is to look for a partner who is soul food

I JUST WALKED INTO MY BEDROOM

 

I just walked into my bedroom,

Which was littered with crap

And tripped over a discarded bra

I was floored by my own booby trap

THE SECURITY SERVICES

 

The security services

Employ cannibal interrogators

Specifically so they can

Grill any of the perpetrators

THE ORANGE STOPPED AT THE TOP OF THE HILL

 

The Orange stopped at the top of the hill

Along with the Tangerine and a Honeydew

And the reason for that was crystal clear

Because each one had run out of juice

ARE YOU WEARING A SHROUD?

 

Are you wearing a shroud?

Well I think you should be

Because I think you look like

Death warmed up to me

GETTING ON # 6

 

Now I have reached old age

And in the Autumn of my days

Except for the odd heart attack

I feel as young as I always

A MAN BOUGHT AN EXPENSIVE GERMAN CAR

 

A man bought an expensive German car

Primarily to impress his friends

Unfortunately, he drove it into a tree

And found out how a Mercedes bends