72 Miles From The Sea

Wednesday, 31 May 2023

Grandpa always said that he wanted,

And he had the plans formalised,

That he would be laid to rest with Nan

So on his death we had her euthanized

Funerals do not have to be a time of sadness

And while they should not be a time of gladness

They can still be a time of celebration though

Especially if the deceased was a miserable so and so

I am attending Walters Funeral

Because I was a friend of his

And I think that today we could

Definitely say where Wally is

Breaking News is coming in

About a tragedy, I’m being told

It’s at an origami competition

More to follow as it unfolds

The Insurance man went

To a funeral in Glasgow

Simply because he had

Never seen a Scottish widow

Eventually you will reach a point,

And I’m there I must admit,

Where I’ve stopped lying about my age

And started bragging about it

When older performers don’t start their act

But begin by telling you their age instead

The crowd goes wild, but what the audience

Is applauding them for is not being dead