HE WAS LOCKED UP AFTER HE THREW

 

He was locked up after he threw

His wife’s clothes out the window

What made it a heinous crime

She was wearing them at the time

HE MARKED HIS GOLDEN WEDDING

 

He marked his golden wedding

With his customary defiance

Celebrating the special occasion

With a two minutes silence

MY WIFE ALWAYS GETS HISTORICAL

 

My wife always gets historical

When we argue, not hysterical

She drags up things you know

That happened many years ago

AT MY ADVANCED AGE # 1

 

At my advanced age I’m sometimes

Overwhelmed by the urge to get home

Get into my elastic waisted trousers

And enjoy the comfort of the room

I ONCE KNEW A GIRL CALLED JO # 1

 

I once knew a girl called Jo

I called her Jo the Trumpet

A bit of a musical strumpet

She was certainly crumpet

But her lips were hard and dry

ARE YOU WEARING THAT FOR A GIGGLE?

 

Are you wearing that for a giggle?

And I love your sense of humour

And I you have a good one too

Despite the contrary rumour

MIDDLE EASTERN CHEESE

 

Two thousand years ago

Cheese making beganeth

In Judea, which we know as

The Cheeses of Nazareth