WE ALL WANT THERESA MAY GONE

 

We all want Theresa May gone

But stubbornly making a fuss

And she just won’t go away

She’s like a bad case of thrush

I HAVE SUFFERED WITH KIDNEY STONES

 

I have suffered with Kidney stones

But I am happy to declare

That Elvis has left the building

With more than one Jordanaire

MY BEST FRIEND ASKED ABOUT MY MARRIAGE

 

My best friend asked about my marriage

And how things were going there

I said I hadn’t spoken to her for three weeks

As I didn't want to interrupt her

I PREFER THE MORE ROMANTIC VIEW

 

I prefer the more romantic view

Even if it’s not scientifically right

That the stars in the nocturnal sky

Are holes in the curtain of night

ARE YOU WEARING THAT FOR FUN?

 

Are you wearing that for fun?

That’s a good enough reason Hon

I really love you in the black one

But I love more when it’s undone

A LEXICON HAS A DRUG PROBLEM

 

A Lexicon has a drug problem

And is facing a disciplinary

For persistently failing screening

And he was declared addictionary

MY UNCLE IS A PART TIME HITMAN

 

My uncle is a part time hitman

Who in accordance with his wife’s wishes

Also works as a janitor at the aquarium

Where he sweeps with the fishes