AT THE ST PATRICK’S DAY PARTY

 

At the St Patrick’s Day party

A guy was playing the Ukulele

But he didn’t know when to stop

Until he was hit with a Shillelagh

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 405

 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

But no one could be bothered

To put him back together again

ARE YOU WEARING PATENT LEATHER SHOES?

 

Are you wearing patent leather shoes?

Do I think they suit you? In truth no

As you’re a thirty four stone woman

Who is never going to look like Poirot

ARE YOU WEARING SHAMROCK?

 

Are you wearing shamrock?

And Patrick is patron saint, but why?

Did he drive the snakes out of Ireland?

Or did he just have a great PR guy?

ARE YOU WEARING A SHAMROCK?

 

Are you wearing a shamrock?

Ireland’s national emblem

The young clover symbol

Displayed out of patriotism

ARE YOU WEARING GREEN?

 

Are you wearing green?

My pretty young Coleen

And that’s everything so?

Well that’s nice to know

And is an image to bewitch

If you do mean every stitch

ST PATRICK'S DAY PICK UP # 1

 

When you’re on the pull

If you want to break the ice

Say something funny

Or say something nice

Be complimentary

Or just lie in your endeavour

Be devastatingly witty

Or say something clever

“Do you have any Irish in you?”

Ask her, on St Patrick's Day

And if she answers yes, reply

“You can have some more today”