ST PATRICKS DAY IS AN EXCUSE

 

St Patrick’s Day is an excuse

For girls to dress inappropriately

That’s why St Patrick’s Day

Is the best holiday for me

ST PATRICKS DAY FANCY DRESS

My friend asked me

What I was going to be

For St Patrick’s Day

I said “Drunk will do me” 

ST PATRICKS DAY IS ONE OF THE FEW

St Patrick’s Day is one of the very few

Acceptable times to wear body glitter

When you have a reasonable expectation

Of not being mistaken for a stripper 

DRINK GREEN BEER

 

Drink green beer

On St Patricks Day

It will count as one

Of your five a day

THE FEAST DAY OF SAINT PATRICK

 

The feast day of Saint Patrick

Is Ireland’s National Day

When the Irish people

Celebrate Saint Patrick's Day

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 404

 

Four and twenty blackbirds

Baked in a crumble

Would that make Greggs

Customers grumble?

ARE YOU WEARING PATENT LEATHER BOOTS?

 

Are you wearing patent leather boots?

Well, I’m as open minded as any other

But really? Thigh length leather boots

When we’re burying your mother