AN INSECT PACKER

 

He was interviewed for the job

Of an insect packer of bugs and thrips

He answered all the questions

And in the end boxed all the ticks

I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 17

 

I went into hospital for minor surgery

And all the staff did was make me worse

As I was going under I heard the surgeon say

“No I said remove his spectacles nurse”

HOW WAS THE OP DOCTOR?

 

He woke up and said

“How was the op Doctor?”

“I’m not your Doctor,

I’m afraid, I’m St Peter”

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 390

 

Monday's child

Is fair of face,

(Well obviously if they don’t look

haggard on Monday morning it’s

because they don’t have any children)

ARE YOU WEARING A MUFFLER?

 

Are you wearing a muffler?

To keep the cold off your chest

Well should it not do the job

I know what to do for the best

I’ll just rub Vick on your skin

Inside your thermal vest

I HAVE GIVEN UP SEX FOR LENT # 2

 

I have given up sex for Lent

Which is to some small extent

An empty gesture on my part

As I had to as I have a bad heart

I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 12

 

I went into hospital for minor surgery

And was fearful the procedure would be a botch

And as I was coming around I heard someone say

“Did anyone see what I did with my watch?”