I visit my grandad regularly
Even though he’s a little daft
He has the windows open when
He makes me play draughts
Thursday, 26 January 2023
I VISIT MY GRANDAD REGULARLY
APPARENTLY A GOOD COMPOST HEAP SHOULD
Apparently, a good compost heap should
Get hot enough to
poach an egg on it,
But not so hot it
would cook a lobster
Well poached or not I
am not eating it
MY HUSBAND IS LIKE A PETROL MOWER
My husband is like a petrol mower
Although he is
considerably slower
They are both
difficult to get started
Emit foul smells when
they’ve farted
And are normally caked
in grime
And they only work
half the time
I'M A GARDENER AND I'M OK
I'm a gardener and I'm ok
I sleep in the allotment
shed all day
I dress in comfy
clothing,
That my wife would
throw away
Oh I'm happy on the
allotment
As I’m not in her way
(Sung to the tune of Monty Python's “I'm a Lumberjack”)
Wednesday, 25 January 2023
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 355
Cock a doodle do!
The maid has lost her shoe,
And that’s not the
only thing
She lost in the barn
DETECTIVE FOGHORN LEGHORN
Detective Foghorn Leghorn
Was called to a crime
scene today
To investigate the
death
Of a Turkey, he
suspects fowl play
ARE YOU WEARING A LOOK OF CONTEMPT?
Are you wearing a look of contempt?
After my ham-fisted
clumsy attempt
Clearly, I can indeed
see that you are
After failing to
unhook that bloody bra
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