My husband is like a petrol mower
Although he is
considerably slower
They are both
difficult to get started
Emit foul smells when
they’ve farted
And are normally caked
in grime
And they only work
half the time
Thursday, 26 January 2023
MY HUSBAND IS LIKE A PETROL MOWER
I'M A GARDENER AND I'M OK
I'm a gardener and I'm ok
I sleep in the allotment
shed all day
I dress in comfy
clothing,
That my wife would
throw away
Oh I'm happy on the
allotment
As I’m not in her way
(Sung to the tune of Monty Python's “I'm a Lumberjack”)
Wednesday, 25 January 2023
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 355
Cock a doodle do!
The maid has lost her shoe,
And that’s not the
only thing
She lost in the barn
DETECTIVE FOGHORN LEGHORN
Detective Foghorn Leghorn
Was called to a crime
scene today
To investigate the
death
Of a Turkey, he
suspects fowl play
ARE YOU WEARING A LOOK OF CONTEMPT?
Are you wearing a look of contempt?
After my ham-fisted
clumsy attempt
Clearly, I can indeed
see that you are
After failing to
unhook that bloody bra
PROBLEMS ARE ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE
Problems are all about perspective
One of those “cup half
full” affairs
So, Escalators don't break
down
They just magically
turn into stairs.
SOME OF US LEARN FROM
Some of us learn from
The mistakes of others
The rest of us are
destined
To be the others
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