21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 346

 

As I was going by Charing Cross

The station was closed of course

And a sign said outside of the station

A replacement bus service is in operation

WHINGING BRITS ABROAD # 12

 

The beach was right outside the hotel

Which I suppose was alright

But is wasn’t much like the brochure

The sand was yellow not white

WHY DID THE PHILANDERER CROSS THE ROAD?

 

Why did the philanderer cross the road?

Well not just to get to the other side

The reason he wanted to cross over

Was so he could get to another man’s bride

ARE YOU WEARING LEGGINGS?

 

Are you wearing leggings?

That are baggy ‘round the knees’

As I can’t see them for myself

Can I have more details please?

I TOLD MY DAD

 

I told my dad “I want to be

A fortune teller init”

He said “Don’t be daft son

There’s no future in it”

WE LOVE YOU STREET ANGELS

 

They are a constant about the place 

They are the friendly face

Revellers stop on their merry way

And invariably they will say

As they lean at precarious angles

"We love you strangles"

TA TA TOGMEISTER

 

I woke up with Wogan,

With 8 million others

I even contributed in a small way

Like many sisters and brothers

 

And when he was usurped

By the upstart Evans

Anton Deck and I

Shook a fist to the heavens

 

When I woke to the news

Of the Togmeisters demise

A lump filled my throat

And tears filled my eyes

 

With his warm easy manner

Friendly, witty and clever

He has a new audience now

And I will be a TOG forever