ARE YOU WEARING A PURPLE BONNET?

 

Are you wearing a purple bonnet?

And a pink scarf about your neck

Well, I don’t know how to tell you

But you really look like a prick

I TOLD MY DAD THAT I HAD JOB TEMPING

 I told my dad that I had job temping

Which sent him quite dolalli

“Fifteen years of education” he raged

“To work at a bowling alley”

ECCEDENTESIAST DESCRIBES SOMEONE

 

Eccedentesiast describes someone

Who hide their pain behind a smile

Football supporters are like that

Especially if you support Carlisle

MY MUSIC TASTES ARE QUITE ECLECTIC

 

My music tastes are quite eclectic

So, in almost any genre I easily fit

From classical to electro swing

But rap music is an oxymoron, isn’t it?

THE DEFINITION OF OXYMORON

 

The definition of oxymoron

Well, that should be a breeze

I’ll give you a clue, it’s not

A person too stupid to breathe

PUZZLING

 

How should I begin to describe you?

Well, you are 13 down,

Without exception, and always 2 across

But you have never been 1 down

And sadly not once 19 across

You are four letters

Starting with a S and ending with a Y

You are coffee time and an acrostic too

As well as being cryptic

Let’s try 11 down followed by three across

Which is what might describe you

But I have never known you to be 7 down

A dictionary won’t help me, nor a thesaurus

You are Mind-bendingly vexatious, unfathomable

Inscrutable and infuriating enigmatic

And like most women I have known

You are an unsolvable puzzle to me

THE PAPILLION AFFAIR

 

My friends happened to mention that

They didn’t particularly like butterflies

And my parents lost it completely,

Not caring for wherefores or whys

My friends became persona non grata

Treated as if they were evil Visigoths

It wasn’t as if they harmed butterflies

They just thought them arrogant Moths