ACCORDING TO A POLL

Women’s silk Panties are Not

The best thing on earth,

According to a poll they are

Next to the best thing on earth 

APPLE ARE DESIGNING A HOUSE

 

Apple are designing a house

But the one thing nobody knows

Is whether or not the iHome

Is going to have Windows

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 329

 

Go to bed first,

A golden purse,

Go to bed second,

A golden pheasant,

Go to bed third,

And be extremely embarrassed

By what you find the other two doing

ARE YOU WEARING A NEW YEARS OUTFIT?

 

Are you wearing a New Year’s outfit?

Well, you really do look good in it

And it doesn’t look risqué, not a bit

It’s a really cracking little outfit

Though all the emphasis is on the fit

IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 8

 

Is Santa Claus really a woman?

Well, there’s no evidence yet

But ask yourself if a man

Would choose to wear red velvet

WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES

 

When the clock strikes

The midnight hour

One-year ends

And another begins

With an explosion

Of pyrotechnic splendour

Lavishly ostentatious

Many thousands of pounds

Up in smoke

Is it really worth it?

Would it not be better spent?

On the homeless

And the lost

And so, begin a new year

With new hope

IT’S SUCH A MILD NEW YEAR

 

It’s such a mild New Year

All the birds are singing noisily

Noisy little bastards

Should be frozen to a tree