FAIRY TALE STATISTIC

 

Here’s a Statistic

That’s really crappy

6 out of 7 dwarves

Really aren’t Happy

LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 8

 

Is there anything more annoying?

If I had my way it would be a crime

Those people who point at their wrist

While they are asking for the time

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 324

 

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To where the Vodka was stashed

And on the quiet moonlit hill

The two of them got smashed

ARE YOU WEARING GOLDEN TINSEL?

 

Are you wearing Golden tinsel?

Tied amidst your lustrous curls

It makes you look so beautiful

And more like an angel than a girl

IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 3

Is Santa Claus really a woman?

Let’s silence those objections

How would he navigate the globe?

And all its many intersections

When a man is totally incapable

Of ever asking for directions 

BAD SANTA # 3

 

Bad Santa is a bit of a perve

So naughty girl when he comes into view

It won’t be candy cane in his pocket

He’ll be really pleased to see you!

THE LAST REINDEER

 

A reindeer walked into a pub,

And ordered a pint of beer.

The barman pulled a pint

And gave it to the reindeer,

 

The reindeer took the drink

And handed over a ten

He checked his change

Then he checked it again

 

The barman then said

"You’re the first reindeer

I think I’m right in saying

That we've had in here."

 

He delivered to the barman

A look, barely disguised

“To be honest at these prices

I'm really not surprised”