ARE YOU WEARING WEREWOLF EARS?

 

Are you wearing Werewolf ears?

It’s an unusual look for a girl

But if you’re a bit of an animal

I’m happy to give it a whirl

THE OLD BLACK WITCH’S CAT # 2

 

The old black witch’s cat

Has nothing much to do

He’s a sleepy old familiar

Oddly named Witchitypoo

He is quite partial to a mouse

Should one happen into view

But he doesn’t stir himself

For he never has to pursue

There is no thought of chasing

And no need to bite and chew

For with a flick of his paw

A spell is cast by Witchitypoo

And then he leisurely dines

On a tasty mouse stew

IT WAS HALLOWEEN AND

It was Halloween and

We were on our way to a party

They were both dressed as vampires

And I was Professor Moriarty

 

We stopped at the supermarket

But didn’t have any cash

So, we thought we’d steal some booze

Then make a dash

 

The bottles we wanted

Were on the very top of the racks

Which we couldn’t reach

So, I had to stand on their backs

 

Once I had the bottles

Dracula hid them under his cape

And without drawing attention

We casually made our escape

 

But we were caught on CCTV

A very clear image by all accounts

I was charged with shoplifting

On two counts

ARE YOU WEARING HALLOWEEN TIGHTS? # 2

 

Are you wearing Halloween tights?

Oh, how they are exciting me

Adorned with a festive motif

What a Halloween this will be

ARE YOU WEARING HALLOWEEN KNICKERS?

 

Are you wearing Halloween Knickers?

Is that appropriate for vicars

Just kneel upon this hassock

While I rummage in your cassock

The bishop wouldn’t think it funny

My naughty little Wiccan honey

IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 10

If your blind date is described to you

As “A Good Listener” don’t go all romantic

Because it will be worse than it sounds

And they’ll be Borderline Autistic

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 272

 

Mary had a little lamb

She also had a ram

But he was too light on his feet

So wasn’t worth a damn