THE COSTUMED ARMY

 

It’s here again

That day we all dread

When once more

We fear the rise of the dead

 

But fear not

Our salvation is at hand

We shall be saved

By an unlikely Band

 

So be assured

When the time is near

Ghosts and ghouls

Will all quake in fear

 

When night falls

All the undead will cower

Trembling in awe

Come the witching hour

 

As armed with sacks

Our great costumed army

Will roam the streets

To drive the evil spirits barmy

 

So, to protect yourselves

Keep a proper payment handy

When the costumed army

Come knocking for some candy

JACK O’LANTERN

 

Jack O’Lantern’s light

Gazing out into the night

In the window there

Staring out a scary stare

With your unsympathetic grin

And glowing orange skin

Are you there to keep the spirits out?

With your jagged leering mouth

Or is your gnarled and toothless grin

There to invite the evil in?

ARE YOU WEARING DEVILS HORNS?

Are you wearing devils’ horns?

Now I get one of those winks

You’re wearing the tail as well?

You naughty little minx

You are clearly more devilish

Than anyone else thinks

Is it because it’s Halloween

Or a few too many Drinks 

ARE YOU WEARING HALLOWEEN KNICKS?

 

Are you wearing Halloween knicks?

Proper novelty underwear

All festively decked down below

In a suitably seasonal pair

It doesn’t matter the decor

It will make an old man stare

Just you in your Halloween knickers

What wonderful Witching hour fare

IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 6

 

If your blind date is described to you

As “a free spirit” you may fancy a frolic

But it will be far worse than it sounds

They’re either a drug addict or an alcoholic

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 268

 

There was a man lived in the moon,

And it was in July, and not in June

When the man who lived in the moon,

Found the Americans had come

ARE YOU WEARING GLITTER?

 

Are you wearing glitter?

On your down below

You’re all blinged up

Where only I should go

Your vajayjay been vajazzled

You’ve decked your minge

It looks like a disco ball

You might as well say blinge