21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 143

 

Robin Hood, Robin Hood,

Living in the green wood

With his merry band

And their stolen contraband

 

They feast and they dine

On stolen food and wine

Then the laughing starts

When Little John farts

ARE YOU WEARING BOOTS?

 

Are you wearing boots?

It’s a little warm for that Betty

No they suit you very well indeed

But they make your calves sweaty

A MAN IN A HOT AIR BALLOON # 1

 

A Man in a hot air balloon

Has lost his bearings

As he slowly floated by

 

He looks down below

And shouts to a man

“Hello, where am I”?

 

“Are you completely mad?”

The man shouted back

“You’re floating in the sky”

ASK A STUPID QUESTION # 1

 

As I came out of the chippy

With two steak and kidney pies

Large chips and mushy peas,

An old wino, with sad eyes

Said “I haven’t eaten for two days”

Pausing I looked to the skies

Then I replied “I wish that I

Had will power like you guys”

KFC FAT CONTENT

An obese girl served me today

When I went in to KFC

She said “sorry about the wait.”

All smiley and friendly

I replied “don't worry dear,

You might lose it eventually”

An obese girl served me today

When I went in to KFC

She said “sorry about the wait.”

All smiley and friendly

I replied “don't worry dear,

You might lose it eventually”

THE GIFT THAT JUST KEEPS GIVING

Doctors have found a type of food

Which leaves an ache

And causes grief and suffering

Years after we partake

It has now been identified

As wedding cake

EMOTIONAL WEDDING

I was with my wife,

At a family wedding do

And I said unsolicited

“I really love you"

“Is that the beer talking?”

She said “or you dear?”

I replied: “It was me

Talking to the beer”