I was lying in bed
With my new Thai bride
Who slowly toyed with
My tool with pride
“You must like holding
it?
Do you think it’s fun?
It’s all that you’ve
done”
My bride said, “I’m
just remembering
When I still had one”
Wednesday, 8 June 2022
I WAS LYING IN BED
WHEN A CHAVVY GIRL
When a chavvy girl
Beams with pride
Wearing a white tracksuit
She must be the bride
SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL
She was beautiful
Like a Constable
landscape
And she painted love
Into my dreary world
Each brushstroke
Changing me forever
HE KISSED LIFE INTO HER
He kissed life into her,
Like a prince of old
Dispelling everlasting
slumber
In a Fairy story often
told
When Sleeping Beauty
Woke from her trance
To gaze into the eyes
of love
And then forever dance
Tuesday, 7 June 2022
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 132
If all the seas were one sea,
What a great sea that would be!
But if all the seas were one sea,
There’d be nowhere for
you and me
ARE YOU WEARING SOMETHING SAUCY?
Are you wearing something saucy?
Beneath your beautiful
wedding livery
Little more than lacy
bits of string
That should render you
all shivery
When on your wedding
night you are
Unwrapped like a
special delivery
YOU’RE NO LONGER ABLE TO BRAG
You’re no longer able to brag
About being a lean
piece of scrag
Now your looks have
started to flag
And your bits have
started to sag
Now your arse has
started to drag
You’ve turned into an
old bag
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