21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 43

 

Yan, tan, tethera, pethera, pimp.

They’ll not miss the one with a limp

Sethera, methera, hovera, covera, dik,

Let’s just kill it nice and quick

We’ve counted all the masters’ sheep

Let’s have lamb stew before we sleep

FRIDAY’S GIRL

 

Friday’s girl

For loving you yearn

But you are too giving

When will you learn?

TEMPORARY AFFLICTION

 

I have a stack of work to do

With deadlines to meet too

So much work I can’t get into

Because I just sit and stare at Sue

 

Sue is the new temporary

And she’s got me quite contrary

The last temp was very scary

Not to mention rather hairy

 

But Sue is such a rare beauty

Down to earth not at all snooty

But it’s hard to fulfil my duty

When I think of Sue getting fruity

A QUESTION OF COURTSHIP

 

I like you very much and I am attracted to you

But something that I have quite often thought

If you wouldn’t mind my asking, is, are you chaste

And more importantly have you ever been caught

SWEET EXPECTATIONS

 

She is the most sugary sweet

Girl you could meet

In essence she is a perfection

Of a confection

She is a sweet sensation

She is a candy creation

She is a delicious bon bon

Need I really go on on

And to tell the honest truth

I have the sweetest tooth

And long to consume

In the quiet of her room

This soft cantered dream

Of peaches and cream

But like many a desire

That lights a man’s fire

Come the appropriate hour

The candy will turn sour

UXORICIDE

When did the love die?

At what moment

Did love turn to odium

Was it that, once too often

He smelt the stench

Of ardours odour upon her

The smell of another man

On her clothes,

On her skin

That made him snap

Making him commit uxoricide

Snuffing out the life

Of his unfaithful wife 

SPANISH MAIDEN

 

The Spanish maiden with the come-hither look

Resplendent with curves shaped to arouse

A maiden possessing that perfect combination

Of come to bed eyes and a gaping blouse