Monday, 24 January 2022

ARE YOU WEARING A TARTAN SKIRT?

 

Are you wearing a Tartan skirt?

And what’s above your socks?

If I were able to take a look

I could maybe see the Trossachs

IN THE BURNS NIGHT RAFFLE

 

In the Burns Night Raffle, first prize

Was very highly sought after

For it allowed the winner to pass

On the haggis at the Burns Night Supper

ON BURNS NIGHT

 

On Burns Night

One thing you must do

Is to eat the Haggis

Before it eats you

BURNS NIGHT SUPPER

 

With Haggis, Tatties and Nips

The Scots celebrate Burns night

They pipe it in with Bagpipes

And that’s really not right

What the hell is wrong with them

I thought they actually liked him

THE HAGGIS

 

Haggis is made from sheep's offal

Oatmeal, suet, seasoning and onions

Stuffed inside of a sheep stomach

Which has to be one of Heston’s creations

THE REASON THEY PIPE IN THE HAGGIS

 

The reason they pipe in the haggis

Without any fluster or hurry

Is to warn the discerning diner

So they can go and get a curry

DEFEND IT TO THE DEATH

 

Liberals believe in freedom of speech

They support it on pain of death

And they will defend this principle

With their final dying breath

 

It’s the corner stone of liberalism

It’s the doctrine that they teach

However, it most definitely helps

If you sing from their hymn sheet