MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

 

The presents look wonderful

Beneath the Christmas tree

The holly and the mistletoe

Are arranged delightfully

 

The gingerbread men are ready

Cinnamon cookies are fresh baked

The Yule log is ready for cutting

And so is the Christmas cake

 

Festive cocktails have been mixed

The eggnog will taste sublime

There are traditional winter ales

Or there is always the mulled wine

Then the bells of Christmas ring,

Well the doorbell is ringing

Is that the guest’s arriving?

Or the carollers come singing

 

Friends and family have arrived

Its time to meet and greet

They have travelled far and near

To see them is such a treat

 

The mantel dressed with greens

The scent of Christmas fills the air

And all the children rush to see

The stockings hanging there

 

I love these get-togethers

And when all is said and done

We’re making Christmas memories

So Merry Christmas everyone

WHO ATE ALL THE PIES?

 

The old fat fella

In the big red suit

Of delivering gifts

In his festive pursuit

 

Wide black belt

And big black boot

The jolly fat bloke

Ruddy and hirsute

 

He does great good

That’s not in dispute

But he eats too much

So he’s a chubby brute

 

So when he visits

On his Christmas commute

Don’t leave him a pie

Leave him some fruit

ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT

 

I have no need of Christmas

I have no need of memories

I have no desire to make plans

To join in with the festivities

 

Don’t wish me merry Christmas

I have no need of Christmas cheer

For me it won’t be Christmas

Until my darling wife is here

 

So save your merry Christmas

Don’t send your jollity my way

Keep the Christmas fizz on ice

Until she’s home on Christmas day

 

This is for all those whose loved ones have to work on Christmas day.

OH YES HE IS

 

On stage at the Victoria

The lad playing Aladdin

Was attacked from behind

But the audience tried to warn him

SELF ANALYSIS

Are you clinically obese?

Is your alcohol intake quite scary?

Do you like to dress up as a woman?

Then eat, drink and be Mary

FORCED ENTRY

I came home today to a horrible sight

All the doors and windows were smashed in

And inside, everything was gone

They had taken absolutely everything

I felt so violated so degraded

How could something like this occur?

What sort of sick person does that?

To someone's Advent calendar

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – FINDING FATHER CHRISTMAS (2016)

 

Christmas for Miranda (Erin Krakow) is a painful reminder of the family she never had.

Her mother died at Christmas when she was young, never revealing the identity of her father.

But, three days before Christmas, she unexpectedly received a clue as to his whereabouts that takes her to a beautiful New England town where she meets Ian (Niall Matter), a young man who helps with her search and love blossoms between them.

But when clues lead to her father's identity she faces a terrible decision, should she share the truth or keep the secret forever?

Whichever way Christmas promises to be life-changing for Miranda with a new chance at life and love.