CHRISTMAS GIFTS – HIS AND HERS

 

I got a book for Christmas

“101 sexual positions”

I got it from my brother

My wife also received a book

“102 handy excuses”

A present from her mother

I’M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS # 1

 

“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,

Just like the ones I used to know”

But if I should run out of the white

I will gladly drink the red though

CHRISTMAS TREE

 

My brother has a Christmas tree

My sister has one too

My parents have a Christmas tree

That is beautiful to view

 

The town square has a Christmas tree

The school has one too

Trafalgar square has a Christmas tree

That is beautiful to view

 
And the thing they have in common

Is that they are CHRISTMAS trees

Decorated and trimmed

To be quite beautiful you see

 

They are not part of a general holiday

Nor are they akin to Hanukkah

They are not part of a Winter Festival

CHRISTMAS Trees is what they are

 

And around our Christmas tree

We celebrate the blessed day

And all say Happy Christmas

But never happy holiday

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER – SINGLE SANTA SEEKS MRS CLAUS

 

Nick junior (Steve Guttenberg) has always known that he needs to find a wife but he planned to let fate bring his wife to him, but those plans had to be altered because time was running out and he must replace his father as Santa Claus on December 26.

Ernest (Armin Shimerman), the right-hand man to several generations of Santa’s, generates a list of potential mates and Nick dutifully sets off to meet them, but fate may have a candidate for him after all when he meets Beth (Crystal Bernard).

CHRISTMAS WISH

 

I’m not looking forward to Christmas

Not since we lost Mum this year

I’m not looking forward to a Christmas

Devoid of any Christmas cheer

 

Dads doing his best to lift our spirits

All though inside he’s really hurting too

He wants to make it a special time

And do the things like Mum used to do

 

So, we decked the house with garlands

And trimmed the Christmas tree

We hung the Christmas cards on strings

So that everyone could see

 

Then with all the decorations up

My Dad went round us one by one

To ask us what gift we wanted

And he promised his best would be done

 

My sister Jules wants new clothes

Kenny wants music of any kind

The twins they want an X-Box

And the baby really doesn’t mind

 

Then Dad asked me “what do you want son?

What gift would stop you feeling glum”?

I said “I don’t want a present Dad

All I wish for Christmas is my Mum”

ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS OUTFIT?

 

Are you wearing a Christmas outfit?

Well, you really do look good in it

And it doesn’t look risqué, not a bit

It’s a really cracking little outfit

Though all the emphasis is on the fit

SANTA

 

Santa comes but once a year

Riding on his sleigh

From his North Pole HQ

With gifts for Christmas day

 

Santa comes down your chimney.

To fill your Christmas stockings

With nuts, fruit and candy

And all kinds of wonderful things

 

So, remember on Christmas Eve

To be good girls and boys

Or Santa won’t come

To bring you lots of toys